When you’re deep in the trying-to-conceive trenches, holidays like Mother’s Day can be especially painful. We hope to provide you with coping strategies, different ways to handle the day, and some fertility options you can explore while working towards becoming a mother yourself!
How to Handle The Day
While Mother’s Day is a recognized holiday, you can absolutely choose if you’d like to acknowledge it or skip it altogether. You can send well-wishes to any mothers in your life (your mom, grandmother, aunts, etc.), but it’s ok to opt-out to protect your feelings. We’d recommend just giving those in your life a heads up that you love them, it’s nothing personal, but you will do your own thing this year.
Below are some options on ways you can make the day manageable:
- Create Your Own Special Holiday: You can make it “Honor Myself Day” or “Happy Me Day” or “Happy Hiking Day,” and you can plan a nice walk outside. If you have a favorite television show, you can binge-watch it and make it “National Binge-Watch Gilmore Girls Day.” The possibilities are endless! Pick something YOU enjoy and go with it!
- Have a “Go-To” Person to Call: Whether it’s your spouse, family member, therapist, or best friend, designate someone in your life to be “on-call” if you want to talk, vent, or distract yourself.
- Put Yourself First: Permit yourself to do what you need in a comfortable way. Practicing some self-care will not make you a bad person. If you have loving and empathetic friends who are aware of your fertility struggles, they will understand. If they aren’t aware that you’re trying to conceive, there’s still nothing wrong with taking a “mental health day.”
- Pamper Yourself: Right now, you can run to the store for new non-toxic nail polish, a face mask, bubble bath, new fuzzy socks, etc., all to give yourself the home spa treatment. Throw in some candles or essential oils and soft music, and you can even relax after all of the pamperings!
- Find Your People: Many online infertility support groups will empathize completely. It also may make you feel good to offer YOUR support to others as well. We offer a Free Fab Fertile Support Group on Facebook if you’d like to check it out!
Family Building Options
There are so many paths to parenthood that are available to you. It may help focus on your options because it answers not if but how you can become a mother. Here are just a few possibilities that range from a natural approach to fertility intervention:
- The Couples Coaching Program: This entails exploring various health aspects that impact your fertility. Based on your history and our tests, we develop a personalized list of suggestions for you to consider regarding your health and lifestyle. These tests include a full Blood Chemistry Review, food sensitivity, DNA stool testing, and more. These tests can offer insight into how best to move forward in your quest to be a parent and improve your chances of pregnancy success with IUI/IVF.
- Intrauterine insemination (IUI): This is when a catheter is used to “bypass” the cervix and insert sperm into a woman’s uterus.
- In vitro fertilization (IVF): When IVF is performed, a woman’s eggs are retrieved and combined with sperm in a laboratory. Any resulting embryos will either be transferred to the woman or surrogate’s uterus or frozen for later use. We also recommend reading one of our blog posts on what you need to know before pursuing IVF.
- Functional Medicine: Functional Medicine is a form of alternative medicine that encompasses several methods and treatments. We employ this to dig further than standard tests do to look for the root cause of your infertility.
- Donor egg or embryo: If you’re unable to conceive with your eggs or if you’re a same-sex male couple, you can have IVF treatment using eggs donated by a woman. The donor egg is combined with your partner’s sperm, and the resulting embryo is transferred to the intended mother or gestational surrogate’s uterus. This procedure can also be done with a donated embryo or donated sperm.
- Surrogacy (gestational carrier): Another woman carries your embryo or donor embryo to term and gives birth to your baby.
- Egg Freezing: If you’re a woman and know you want to have children someday, after getting a fertility consultation and the necessary tests, you may want to consider freezing your eggs. Similar to IVF, but after your egg retrieval, the eggs are frozen for some time. When you’re ready to use them, they are thawed, fertilized, and transferred to the uterus as embryos.
We have also found a potent tool to pinpoint the pain/trauma and effectively and move through it. We call it the emotional freedom technique (EFT), and it’s included in our Fab Fertile Coaching Program.
Please remember that while Mother’s Day isn’t easy, there are ways to manage it. There are various options you can explore to expand your family. We encourage you to schedule a Supercharge Your Fertility Discovery Call so you can learn more!
Sarah Clark empowers couples to discover how lifestyle and diet can dramatically impact their chances of conceiving. She was diagnosed with premature ovarian failure at 28 and had both her kids with donor eggs. Not until years later did she discover that the root cause of her infertility was a food intolerance and later a gut infection.
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